The KGB came for me on 12 November 2020. I was tried and sentenced to 2.5 years in a prison colony. They shipped us like cattle at gunpoint, it reminded me of those old war documentaries when prisoners were shipped to camps – I’ve never been so scared in my life.
*to protect ‘Anna’ we have changed her name and personal details to prevent any further reprisals.
It all started on 18 June 2020, when presidential candidate Viktar Babarika was detained. As the student protests started, so did the arrests and detentions. Detentions that the university supported. They threatened that any protesting student would be expelled, and many of them were.
On the first of September 2020, I was detained. I had a meeting with the university administration that day. They said that politics was none of my business and that I should understand how this could end. But I couldn’t turn a blind eye to the violence going on in the country.
Thirty-five minutes later, I was detained by men in black. They came out of the university campus, wrapped my arm and put me in a car. I discovered later on that it was the university administration itself who had called the police on me.
My own university administration provided evidence against me in my criminal case.
In September, I was arrested for 7 days, and the charges stated that I shouted “Zhyve Belarus!”/”Long Live Belarus!” and “Ganba!”/”Shame!” and while waving a banned flag, although this was not recorded on the record of my detention. It was then that I realised how difficult it is to fight against a system where everybody lies!
After my release, I was seen as a symbol of freedom and truth by my colleagues at the university. My detention apparently had become a great inspiration for others. Many students at my university began to recognise me and ask me questions. I did not plan to inspire anyone. These were simply my principles and ideas that had to be protected.
I received so much support, attention and care from the students. Then, for some reason, it all went beyond the university, I started to get calls from parents of other students. They brought all sorts of goodies to the university, helped financially, and wrote posts about me. There was powerful a wave of solidarity erupting!
It was the first demonstartion of real Belarusian solidarity.
In August, university protests started to spill onto the streets of Minsk. I was so happy when I saw people coming out to peaceful protests, taking their children with them. A sea of colours, smiles and hope.
In these three months, August to October of 2020, I met a lot of good people. You could go out on the street and feel love, understanding and support all around you. People all protected each other, especially from police attacks: girls covered guys, grandmothers – young people.
At these moments the unity of Belarusians was clear. Finally, people began to show kindness to each other, as I always wanted. I think we were united by a common suffering and hopes for a free life. Of course, like any Belarusian, I thought that people would be able to change and solve everything, because this is our country and our life. But it didn’t turn out that way…
On 28 October 2020, 124 students who were expelled, I was one of them.
I learnt about my expulsion before most, I got a call from the dean’s office and was told to come for documents. I was not upset; I knew it was coming. I had already started to look for a place to study abroad, but it wasn’t long before I was detained again.
On 12 November 2020, which would later be called “Belarusian students Black Thursday”, I was detained by unknown people dressed in black. I found out in the car that they were from the KGB.
They took me to my flat, where it was ruthlessly searched. I was then interrogated, before being taken to the KGB detention centre. I stayed in the KGB detention centre for 8 days before I was transferred to a pre-trial detention gaol.
During my detention there I got acquainted with the other students charged. Lies and deceit were the norm- we were accused of being an organised group, but we only met for the first time in the pre-trial detention centre.
In the pre-trial detention centre in Valadarskiy, I learnt what solidarity really was. During my time under investigation, I received more than 1500 letters. This is only what I received. The rest were irretrievably lost. I don’t know for what reason the letters were destroyed. Maybe the prison guards were jealous that we were considered heroes. Or maybe they wanted to show that nobody wanted us. The letters I did get were my saviour and helped me carry on.
Then came the trials, meetings with relatives, disagreement with the incriminated offence, witnesses, a convoy, a car. The court sentenced me to two years in a prison colony.
During the 2 years of my imprisonment, the hardest thing I remember was the journey there. They forced us to run with heavy bags from the detention centre to the train, while around you the guards with automatic rifles, shout at you, and their dogs bark aggressively. You run into a narrow aisle of the compartment carriage and are told where to sit. It is a standard compartment for 6 people, and 20 prisoners are crammed in it. The air smells of tobacco and sweat. There’s no air at all.
At some point I just broke and started crying. All I could think of was remembering similar images from war films and documentaries when prisoners were transported to camps and colonies. I feared for my life.
I have never felt so much fear, pain, humiliation and shame for what I had to go through. When we arrived at the colony and we were taken out of the carriage, I was able to put my bags on the ground and breathe a full breath. I was relieved I had managed not to die in that hell. It had only been 10 hours.
I spent 748 days in the prison colony. It was a place where they kill your humanity, erase you as a person, criticise you and tell you that you are the scum of society. Colony is a place where you can die and nobody will save you. During my period, about 6 people died and I myself more than once found myself urgently needing real medical help. But I’m a convict I didn’t need help,
The guards even forced girls to work even after they’d had terrible allergic reactions to midge bites and developed horrifically swollen feet. You have no rights, no voice, no opinion, you are like a herd, you have to follow everyone. You are forbidden to pray, to go to the library, to do sports, to rest.
When I was released, the hardest part was saying goodbye to the girls. I felt and still feel guilty that I am out here and they are still imprisoned. I worked through this with a psychologist many times, but it’s like a boil, once it heals, the thought starts to bother you again.
Even after being in the colony, I still believe that the Belarusian people must continue to fight for our freedom and the freedom of those from whom it was unjustly taken away.
Now I am studying in Europe basically in exile. It has been difficult to learn the language, but it is only a small problem compared to what I will have to endure after the summer of 2020.
